people will tell you i'm a saint. [they lie] people will tell you i'm brilliant. [they over exaggerate] people will tell you i'm possesed. [they don't understand] people will tell you i'm full of shit. [they're jealous] people will tell you i broke their heart. [they wanted it] people will tell you i changed their life. [they need to stop fucking my sevenfootstrapon] people will tell you a lot of things. [but i'll tell you first] i'm loud and obnoxious. i don't wait my turn. i can't mind my own business, and i only stick up for someone when i want to and attack instead when asked. i'm hot and cold on a good day. and lukewarm on bads. i'm obsessive and possesive. and repressive. and it makes me repeat until you wish i were a mute. i'm two sided, but the sides are the same images in the mirror. i never change my mind correctly. and they all wonder if it's even a change with how i flow it. i am ugly, but they sure love to stare. i pick up kids that let me and throw them away to rot when i'm done. peeking in at times to remind you that i'm no longer in your life. i don't mind losing friends as much as i don't mind loss of lives because i understand this is a natural stage of growth & development. i stick to evolution. i'm sarcastic when i love you, kind when i don't. i can't comfort anyone. and i make you laugh because you're happy i'm not saying that shit about you. i'm a bitch. i'm a one way train to self destruction. and you're my strapped and sedaited crew. i don't brainwash, you do it for me. i'm stupid. unsure. and quite lame. i couldn't spell if a truck of alphabet blocks hit me at speedofsound miles per hour and the plate read "FONIX". i'm immature. i'm not as cute in life as i am in my myspace pictures. don't try to get to know me. it will be a waste of your time. i'll just end up a disappointment.
[://THISISME].
i'm not going to bloom like a fucking flower for you and drop all. no. i don't expect you to understand a word or see me as anything special. no. i'm not naive enough to think the words "slut" or "attention whore" are below what you think of me. no.
[://JUSTFACEIT]
you're more punk. hardcore. mod. straightedge. emo. indie than me. your hair is cooler. your pants are tighter. you have more tattoos. you have cooler pins on your messenger bag and your favorite band is more obscene than mine. your shoes are more vintage and so is your t-shirt. you own more black clothes than me. i don't even own a denim jacket. your glasses are thicker. and blacker than mine. you know more people in bands, your photography is blacker and whiter. your scene points are double, perhaps triple, mine. because as we all know, that's what matters. in a scene where the music has taken a second to the hair cuts, i guess you win, and i lose. it's a shame for some people that it's not even about the music anymore. but funny now that everyone actually does look the same.
[://IAMWHATYOUNEED]
aka: the impossible dose. and it's going to take more than a cute scene boy with hip bones to impress me. you send me love letters: i'll correct the grammer and send them back. you send me mean comments: i'll send you gay porn spam. you send me hatemail: well, i'm alwayz up for a challenge.
[://LISTENCAREFULLY]
i don't want to make friends with people that attempt to catch my attention by staring or glancing. i don't want to make friends with people that follow me for a few minutes and walk away. i don't want to make friends with people that sit next to me or near me and wait for me to say something. i don't want to make friends with people that say "i like your style/hair/make-up/shirt" and then don't have anything else lined up. i don't want to make friends with people that talk to me out of the blue. i want someone to walk up next to me and keep walking as if we know eachother and we started together from point [a] and plan to continue to point [b]. i want someone who keeps going no matter how far I go. keeping up and not questioning or asking "where". i want someone who just says "hey" and that ends it. i want someone who understands that silence in conversation can be golden because smalltalk is filler and shit and neither of us cared anyway. because i don't care about the abbreviations or crushedtotwowords sentances. like your GED or your STD. or your job as a CSR. that you live near MSG or St. Mark or Union or The Heights. that you did or didn't make mommy and daddy proud. that you're a rebel. that you conform. that you're a dem. or a rep. or an indy. or who you voted for. and your OH FUCK BUSH. your political veiws. and your social economical middleclassvsupperclass bullshit. your five thousand patches of bands names that are super "original", right? like "Global Threat" and "Indy 5" and "No Kid's Underground" and blahblahblahblah. the words here are never and ever. not yet. i want someone who can just walk. 'cause before you speak you know nothing more about a person other than the way they look. how they carry themselves. the look on their face. the way they stepskipstumble and... stop. how they cross a street with traffic near. and how they get through a crowd. if they look both ways. if they breathe through their mouth or their nose. the things you always learn later when the friend or person mattered. because by then we were past all your mememe. i'll listen just so i can talk. because by then you cared. because you were comfortable without talking. i want that first and all the rest after. because i don't want to know your life. and it's little details until I am comfortable. not the other way around. It should always be that way. too bad no one does that.